Today we went to a playgroup for families like ours, that is, glbt families. There were only a couple other families that came, but the kids were mostly boys. About 20 minutes into it, some of the kids were getting a bit too wild for Bub and he shared his woes with me… ‘moooooomma… they are being tooooo loud” as they whizzed their cars from the dining room where we were sitting, into the livingroom, and back again. So I sat his 7 year old body on my lap (when did he get SO big?) and held his ears and we rocked side to side. He started singing “dooon’t hold my ears… don’t hold my ears…” in such a soft peaceful way that I wasn’t even paying attention to what he was saying and Tig had to tell me.
So, he didn’t want his ears held and he really didn’t want those boys making so much noise (I should point out that his complaining about the noise was making more noise than the noise itself – say that 5 times fast). Thankfully, we live right down the street so Tig walked him home for a break. I was surprised to see them back in about 10 minutes, Bub happily sporting his headphones which were plugged into his little MP3 player. Your MP3 player really does only need one song on it when you’re a fan of looping like Bub is.
Tig later told me that when they were walking home Bub said he really wanted to go back to the playgroup and HE suggested that maybe he could get his earphones and go back. Brilliant.
He’s getting it… he wants to be around people, he wants to connect, but sometimes the noise really is too much. Today, he stretched over like a little sapling in storm, bending himself towards a solution of his own choosing. For us, and kids like Bub, this is such a big thing. Huge really. Flexibility is something that seems to be rather elusive for our family as a whole, so when we happen upon it like an oasis in the middle of the desert, my body relaxes as I crouch in the warm sand and eagerly scoop handfuls of cool water to my lips.
After a very short time, the headphones came off, the kids branched off to different parts of the house and Bub was content to stay the rest of the time headphone free. He made it the rest of the way across the desert, all he needed was that brief solace to help him make it through. I would guess that when we are struggling, a brief oasis in which we can taste a way to make it through is the push we really need to keep going.
i’m so proud of bub! this is huge!