Yeah, I’m talking to You my fellow bloggers. I have a blog stalker… or shall I say there is a team. Someone sees me post, someone e-mails someone, or calls someone else, or instant messengers someone else and then eventually the KingPin (or maybe I should call her the QueenPin) hears that I’ve posted and either she comes here herself or she hears second (third, fourth, or fifth) hand what I’ve posted about. Phew… sounds like a lot of work.
Then of course I eventually hear about it and I feel… well I don’t know what I feel. First I feel a tiny bit violated, then I feel like chuckling at the ridiculousness of ALL of this energy that goes into keeping tabs on little old Me, and then I feel frustrated that I’m left feeling like I can’t be myself here because of that group of catty girls over in the corner of the playground with their heads together giggling while they intermittently glance my way.
So if you had a blog stalker (or a team of them) and you knew about it, what would you do? Would you stick it out and just say fuck it? Would you pack up and head to greener pastures? What if the QueenPin’s reactions to what you wrote were unpredictable and could adversely impact people you care very much about?
Are you talking about your ex or something else? If it’s the first, let me reassure you that nothing is being shared from this direction. I think that came up in the past and has been agreed upon in the house..no discussion so nothing gets shared accidently. Not sure what would be used against you…recipes and handbags can be dangerous right! 🙂 Anyway just letting you know. If it’s not about that person then nevermind. Good luck with your procedure. I’m not sure when you are scheduled but hope all goes well.
No, not you or her or anyone in that direction… in the other direction if you catch my drift. Thanks for the well wishes, I’ve got some good support and am doing a program at the hospital for relaxation before the surgery so I’m hopeful. Hope your healing is going well too!
Hi. I feel bad not commenting as you have specifically asked us wwyd. So I’ve come back to say “I dont know” and “its a really hard question”. I tend to think I’d run away to protect myself and family but feel like I shouldn’t. A few years ago now, I did a PET parenting class and we did this exercise where the leader put a jumper (in Australia that is a sweater not a dress) on the floor and told us to pick it up. She used the busy mother, impatient mother, dont argue with me mother tone. My instinctive reaction was to pick it up and feel bad. I was fascinated that more than half the class had an instinctive reaction that was “F**K you” and they wouldn’t pick up the jumper. They later acknowledged they felt really bad too. So, we do feel bad when people treat us badly. It just depends on your temperament on how you instinctively react. Now, naturally enough, being human we can override instinct and I could choose to stick it out and the ones I labelled “the bolshie” ones could choose to walk away and avoid conflict. It just depends on where you’re at in your journey – both in the relationship with the stalkers and the relationship with your benign and positive internet community. I’ll keep reading you, if you stay and I’m a long way away.
Thank you Melissa… you provided me with some insight that maybe you didn’t intend to. Your post made me consider that maybe I’m being too microscopic about this. It reminded me that there are people out there who enjoy reading my blog for what it is, not what it isn’t, and just because I can’t be my whole self here, doesn’t mean I need to be anything more than I already am. All I’m doing by fretting about it is giving this person more power and they’ve already got enough of that.
You have my sincere thanks.
Well, I read this post in my reader on my Ipod, and planned to respond when I had some time- but it sounds like you’ve got a really good perspective on things so I’ll just say good luck and I hope that your stalkers move on to someone else soon.
Again, you’re helping me see the macro version of things. I’m so oddly humbled to know that people actual read this blog and appreciate it in some way. I post away here, just happy to have an outlet for myself and really, I’m surprised to know that people besides my mom and the stalker read. Thanks Trish. Maybe someday we’ll have another opportunity to meet IRL and no new molars will thwart your plans 🙂
You made this place to speak to who you are. Whatever that is is the right way to go . I say don’t let that be decided by others for you, with their words, use your own.
I read things here an appreciate them a little bit more after I’m done. Its both interesting and amazing to me how much further appreciation goes just by voicing it in a thoughtful moment. I don’t do it enough. Flippant words and judgments behind the back go in the opposite direction. So, while I’m bad at not appreciating the ‘moments’ in life, I am trying to get there. I think intrinsically, I move my life away from situations like the one your dealing with. Its a toughie.
I only hope the good outweighs the bad for you. I like to come here. Thank you for that.
Again, and again, thank you. I hope my humility comes across as genuine as it is. Thank you all that come here to read what I write. The insecure me wants to thank you for reading my ‘drivel’… but obviously if you’ve come here more than once, you don’t think it’s ‘drivel’. All I can offer is my thanks.
I like your drivel 🙂
I put my blog private because I couldnt handle the idea of stalkers. But that is me. I was always the shy one worried what other people thought.
I also put mine private because I wanted to talk more and not worry who was reading… that was more of a where or what we were doing sort of thing and protection for the children.